Hand Me Downs

In the past month I have hit the jack pot in the area of hand me down clothes for my kids. The first wind fall came when I traveled south for my nephew's confirmation. On the way we stopped at my step-brother's house in Noblesville, Indiana where he lives with his wife and two boys, ages 12 and 7. It started innocently enough.

"Do you have any old Tball or soccer shoes that Seth has outgrown?" Both of my boys are in Tball this summer and shoes are ridiculously expensive. I mean, who in their right mind is going to pay $30 for a pair of shoes that will be outgrown by the end of summer? I'll answer that, not me. They can play in their normal tennis shoes, but of course, I want them to look the part of the Tball player too! So, I'd been scouring garage sales and kid consignment shops with no luck.

Well, Suzette looked thoughtful. "Yeah, in fact, I think I've got some regular shoes and come to think of it, I have a tub marked 'Amy' in the garage with a bunch of clothes for the boys. Do you have room in the van?"

Do I ever. I mean, I would probably buy a topper just to get those clothes home with me if I had to. I love these hand me downs. Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree, Adidas, brand name everything, in every color, in great shape including about a bazillion jammies. Just in time for me to NOT have to buy any summer clothes or fall clothes for that matter for Gabe. And then Ben's turn will come with the clothes next.

I love hand me downs! And not just because it saves me money, if I didn't get them for free, I'd go to garage sales or second hand shops anyway for the kids. It's the ultimate recycling really. And what a waste to go buy brand new clothes when perfectly good second hand clothes work just as well.

Now, I'm not averse to new clothing. There are some things that you almost have to buy new, especially for boys. They're getting to the age where most jeans size 6 and up that are hand me downs will have holes or near holes in them. So, new makes sense in that. Also, tennis shoes are sometimes so worn, that you'll have to buy new. With girls it's a whole different story.

When Ben was born, I hardly had to buy anything new. It was great! Plus, I got to relive Baby Gabe when Baby Ben wore his big brother's clothes. And boys, well boys are easy. Your choices for clothes are short sleeve or long sleeve, pants or shorts, tennis shoes or church shoes, along with the occasional dressy outfit.

When Lyndee was born, oh man was I in trouble. It was overwhelming. And that's an understatement. There are far too many choices when it comes to the wardrobe of a girl. You have pants, shorts, skirt, skort, capris, or dresses. Then short sleeve, long sleeve, tshirt, dressy shirt, cutesy shirt, sweater, sweatshirt, zip up, over the head, hood or no hood, on and on and on. That doesn't even begin to cover shoes - sandals, tennis shoes, church shoes in three colors, loafers, mary janes, crocs, boots, wow is all I can say.

So yes, hand me downs make sense. A week ago I talked to a teacher friend of mine who had a baby when her two other children were 9 and 12. Well, needless to say, even if the older daughter's clothes were still around (which they weren't) what was cute in the 90's was not so cute in the thousands if you know what I mean. So, new clothes it was. Thankfully, I am the HMD (hand me down) beneficiary of this! I was thrilled, more than thrilled when she stopped by last week with a huge bag of summer clothes and fall clothes for Lyndee. "Do you need shoes?" she said.

"Well, need is a relative term," I said, "but YES! We love shoes!" Later that night I sat on the couch and practically in tears I said, "Matt, do you see this, do you see all these great clothes?"

"What?" he said. "Yeah, clothes, sure, great," and went back to the NBA playoffs.

My spirits and gratitude not dampened at all by his seemingly inappropriate response, I called my mom and explained the situation. "Oh honey, that's great! I can't wait to see them. Won't our little girl look adorable?" Sigh, at last someone who understands my unadulterated joy at such a gift. I went to bed all smiles that night.

As the third of three girls, you might think that I would abhor hand me downs. After all, I was the recipient of many, many of these items. And not only third hand, but often 4th or 5th hand. My older cousin had scoliosis and wore a brace for many years, but her family bought her the coveted brand name shirts that ours could not afford. So when these shirts came our way, we wore them proudly, holes from the brace and all. I remember in particular one dress that my sisters both wore, it was green with some sort of red fruit all over it. Hideous, I know. I would sneak down to their closet and secretly drool over that dress. I couldn't wait till it was mine. Finally, they just said, "Amy, take it. We're not going to wear it anyway." I think I wore it the next day to school even though it was too big.

I often think that hand me downs can be symbolic for other things in our life too. I know that I am handing attitudes, values, and morals down to my kids every day. I appreciate most of these that my parents handed down to me, too. I just hope that someday, like the clothing, my kids can appreciate the things that aren't really things that I've tried to hand down to them as well. And relating to clothes, why would we want our kids to have to invent or think up brand new attitudes, values and morals when we can show them our "used" ones that hopefully can lead them down the right paths. We just have to be careful that we "hand me down" the good stuff in that area, and not the poorly used, trendy or ill advised stuff that sometimes sneaks in our baggage. With my lucky hand me down track record, I think we'll be okay.