I read a blog post lately about a woman writing from her heart about not being able to carpe diem every moment with her young children. I've been thinking about this very thing for a long time. Ever since I had kids who were 3.5, 1.5 and a newborn. Heck, probably before that, but my brain was too clouded from lack of sleep to form coherent thoughts.
My boys were both born in the summer. A dreamy time to have a newborn. When I was feeling trapped in my house, jiggly, and stir crazy, I could pile the baby in the stroller and walk and walk and walk. I did the same with my second son. Identical scenario with the exception that it was now a double stroller instead of a single. In addition to the whole weather factor was the bonus that my husband is a teacher, so he was home for the first eight weeks or so of my boys' lives.
When my daughter was born, it was January. The coldest one on record in recent history. So, we didn't go anywhere. And for those of you not in the know, teachers work in January so my husband was not available. Oh, wait, I take that back. Lyndee was born on a Tuesday. He got her actual birth day off, plus Wednesday. Then he called in sick the next two days to be able to take me home from the hospital and help us settle in before going back to work on Monday.
So, to escape the house one day and also to attempt to feed my family something more than Cheerios, I took the kids grocery shopping. Gabe had to walk (at 3.5 not an easy task through the whole grocery store), Ben was sitting in the cart, and Lyndee was in the baby bucket in the basket of the cart. We made it two aisles before Lyndee started screaming. And I mean, screaming in that nothing will console this baby, way. But, it had taken me an hour to get everyone bundled and in the car, darned if I wasn't going to FINISH getting what I came for....food!
One woman kept looking at me. And when I say looking at me, what I really mean is that she was pointedly glaring at me. It was as if she was saying, "What are you doing bringing those poor children out today? It is January and cold and it might storm tonight. You should be home carpe dieming this maybe by snuggling or making snowflake cupcakes or celebrating the month of January or something. You should be anywhere but here, disrupting my peaceful shopping experience."
Oh man, I was so postpartum on this day that it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears right there in the shredded cheese aisle. I hadn't showered in a couple of days. I was feeling pasty and heavy and tired. But, I persevered. I got my shredded cheese and everything else I came for. And, I got something else, too. I gained a little perspective.
As I was getting ready to FINALLY check out, an older woman was in line behind me. She patiently stood and waited and asked my oldest a few questions while I found my coupons, the pacifier, and my checkbook. And when I was done and wheeling away, I looked back and said, "Thanks for your patience. I know we are kind of a circus."
And she said, "Oh honey. I know. I've been there. You are doing a great job. Keep it up. You, too, will make it through." Then, I cried.....and said, "Thank you....so much."
And I thought, "That is what I will do. That is the kind of mentoring mom I will be. Someday I will be in a grocery store and say the very same thing. And maybe I will add that it is hard to cherish every moment. There will be time your kids will be puking, or late with their homework, or crying or fighting nonstop with their siblings over nothing. But, you will persevere and survive. You will get your shredded cheese and go home and take a shower....finally. Then, you can carpe diem or make snowflake cupcakes. Or not. Either way, I have been there. You are doing a great job and you, too, will make it through."
