Dear Family and Friends,
We were watching “Home Alone” the other night. Gabe said, “Remember last year when we went to an airport? And there were lots of people there and nobody wore a mask?” Even now we watch tv shows or movies pre-pandemic, it’s a little jarring. Do you see them? They are sharing food! Look at the crowds! There are so many people. No masks?! After returning from our Costa Rica trip with Matt’s brother and parents, we could not have predicted what the rest of our year would be like.
Gabe
We clearly remember the strong willed tantrums. We recall the times he wouldn’t let us throw anything away and we thought he was a hoarder in training. Now? He’s 17 and his room is neat and organized. He’s still a collector but the focus has shifted from random objects to retro video games (read - games we played in the 80s and 90s) and game systems. During the Stay Home MN order, he started a hobby business buying up retro video gaming systems, repairing them, and reselling them. It kept him busy and learning about everything that that entailed. He’s inching toward adulthood, and pandemic or not, milestones of growing up were still apparent. He got his first job - at Matt’s alma mater - Menards. He’s an order pickup team member, so he gets the online orders for customers and loads things into cars. He purchased his own vehicle, from our neighbor, with just a little help from us. And we could not be more grateful for his vehicle and his ability to drive his brother and sister to and from school and practices. While distance learning, or hybrid, or whatever model we are currently in - he remains a good student and became a Minnesota Honor Society inductee this fall. He chose NOT to play football, but is currently working hard to get stronger for an anticipated basketball season. Gabe and I had some great adventures this summer, visiting local and metro gaming shops once they reopened and listening to Creepy Pastas together. He’s starting to think about where he might go to college and is taking a few college credits concurrently with HS coursework.
Ben
Ben is 15 and just passed his driver’s permit test, so we’ll soon have another driver! He got a job this past year working with Panther Pals (or school aged child care). Ben is really great with kids and this summer came home with great stories and, “Mom, listen to this - I made a list called ‘Why I don’t like the morning shift.” The list detailed why each of the kids he was in charge of were crying….all at the same time. My favorite one was, “X is crying because her shoe is wet.” He is gaining great experiences in patience with all kinds of kids. He’ll need that if he still wants to be a teacher. With his earned income, he bought his own computer which Gabe helped him assemble. Ben loves gaming with his VR (virtual reality) set - another huge purchase - and is currently chasing challenge records in Rec Room (whatever that means). He also appreciates the buying power that comes with having a job, but is annoyed that Mom and Dad still have a say in purchases. He played football this fall and had a role in the virtual fall play. Ninth grade can be a challenging transition, and distance learning isn’t his favorite, but his grades are good and he’s learning a lot. We recently read The Outsiders together and yes, I still cried at the end. It’s interesting to read it through the lens of parent and teacher and equity now as so much and so little have changed since the book was written in 1962.
Lyndee
Lyndee will be 14 in just a few short weeks. Just when I think I’ve figured out how to parent a teenage girl, the rules change and what worked yesterday is SO WRONG today. She challenges me to be the best version of myself as her parent and is a consistent reminder that we cannot assume that just because our kids are growing up, that they need us less. She still wants to hang out with me and we definitely enjoy shopping. Since she and I didn’t want to argue each time she wanted some new item of clothing, we negotiated a monthly clothing budget. Lyndee’s job is to take care of the dogs and just taking that task from us has been a relief. Lyndee is currently enamored with the game “Among Us” and enjoys being the “Impostor” in the game. She was disappointed in the cancellation of her first track and field season, but did get a chance to do a “little” summer VB and BB. Lyndee loved playing volleyball this fall and is looking forward to basketball starting on January 4th. Lyndee’s favorite foods are fudge bars, ice cream, cereal, and popcorn with chocolate chips. We watched a lot of Full House and Fuller House together. Lyndee enjoyed babysitting and has applied to work at Panther Pals with her brother. She is doing a great job at distance learning and her worry about grades is completely unfounded.
Matt and Amy
Coaching, teaching, and family. And family. And family. And (we are always together) family. While this year was completely not what we expected, wanted, anticipated, etc., we are ridiculously grateful for our kids, their independence, intelligence, and patience with us. Much to their annoyance, we have been cautious with letting them see friends and we both know how much they miss having a free and active social life. Living in the country was really great for the lockdown period. Our kids have always been used to relying on each other or themselves for entertainment, so it wasn’t too big of a stretch when we would tell them no to hanging out with friends. Even though we limit their screen time far more than they think is necessary, they still occasionally think it’s okay to have our “forced family fun” days. We weren’t able to coach track and field in person last spring, which caused much heartache for us and our athletes. We do know that this adversity will serve us all well in the future, but it didn’t make the loss of the 2020 season any less hard. We both were able to coach this fall with cross country and football. And, that was one thing that made our world seem normal again - even with how different those seasons were structured. As educators, we are permanently tied to a school schedule. I’ve actually been grateful for that through this year, since it’s one thing that has been predictable. While others remained working from home, we actually got to experience the first day of school rituals with our students. We have changed models a couple of times with 7-12 currently in a full distance model. Since I teach 6th grade, I’ve gotten to teach in person with my students all year, with the exception of one week. It’s technically a hybrid in person, since I teach half of one group of students and zoom to the other half each period, plus teach to those students who are fully online - all at the same time. Teaching in this way has provided many opportunities for growth and many challenges, but I appreciate that I get to be in person at all. Matt teaches in person right now to 6th graders, but via zoom to his high school classes. Right now, we are looking forward to the start of basketball season for the kids and I actually get to help coach the varsity girls this year after a 10 year hiatus. Matt and I also are looking forward to a track and field season this spring.
Family
We desperately miss our friends and family members and hugs and high fives and potlucks and everything else. But, we know we can do anything for a short time. Our deepest gratitude this year goes to the health of our family members - Matt’s 90+ year old grandmas, and our parents are persevering and healthy. Our siblings and nieces and nephews are all healthy and safe as well.
Pets
Here’s the 2020 rundown–Dash - 9 years old, is making a bid to become an inside dog and only had to be picked up at the humane society once this year due to running away. Tucker - 8 years old, started suffering seizures this summer, but is now doing well with medication, has finally lost some weight, but still can’t be an inside dog because he thinks poop is delicious. Wrigley – after finding out from the vet that he was probably closer to 12 than 10, he diligently guarded us through the stay at home order. Sadly, he left this world due to cancer on the last days of school. We still miss him every day. Cat #3 - Lucy recently reassigned as Louie) - disappeared last fall and showed up again in March! He comes and goes as he pleases and judging by his weight increase, we’re pretty sure he has another family that also feeds him. (Cat #4 - Pepper - went back to his original home and was replaced by Frodo who left with Louie last fall. Frodo remains at large). Cat #5, Sunny - loves Gabe and Matt when the mood strikes her, hates the rest of us and consistently swipes at us when we’ve done nothing remotely to annoy her other than walking by wherever she happens to be.
It’s just such a weird time in so many, many ways. I have learned that I am grateful for my ability to arrange and rearrange how I think about things. I have learned that you can absolutely be angry and forgiving at the same time. That you can feel grief and joy together. That disappointment can be reframed into motivation. That I can feel scared and comforted in the same experience. That people can disagree and still love each other. We wish you perseverance, harmony, health, and most definitely hope. Through the darkness of the season, peace and stillness can provide an opportunity for reflection and the birth of Jesus can show us hope for what is to come. It won’t be without hardship, disagreement, or loss, and we will be changed when this is over.
Love, Matt & Amy, Gabe, Ben, Lyndee, Dash, Tucker, Louie, and Sunny
