Hand Me Downs

In the past month I have hit the jack pot in the area of hand me down clothes for my kids. The first wind fall came when I traveled south for my nephew's confirmation. On the way we stopped at my step-brother's house in Noblesville, Indiana where he lives with his wife and two boys, ages 12 and 7. It started innocently enough.

"Do you have any old Tball or soccer shoes that Seth has outgrown?" Both of my boys are in Tball this summer and shoes are ridiculously expensive. I mean, who in their right mind is going to pay $30 for a pair of shoes that will be outgrown by the end of summer? I'll answer that, not me. They can play in their normal tennis shoes, but of course, I want them to look the part of the Tball player too! So, I'd been scouring garage sales and kid consignment shops with no luck.

Well, Suzette looked thoughtful. "Yeah, in fact, I think I've got some regular shoes and come to think of it, I have a tub marked 'Amy' in the garage with a bunch of clothes for the boys. Do you have room in the van?"

Do I ever. I mean, I would probably buy a topper just to get those clothes home with me if I had to. I love these hand me downs. Gap, Old Navy, Gymboree, Adidas, brand name everything, in every color, in great shape including about a bazillion jammies. Just in time for me to NOT have to buy any summer clothes or fall clothes for that matter for Gabe. And then Ben's turn will come with the clothes next.

I love hand me downs! And not just because it saves me money, if I didn't get them for free, I'd go to garage sales or second hand shops anyway for the kids. It's the ultimate recycling really. And what a waste to go buy brand new clothes when perfectly good second hand clothes work just as well.

Now, I'm not averse to new clothing. There are some things that you almost have to buy new, especially for boys. They're getting to the age where most jeans size 6 and up that are hand me downs will have holes or near holes in them. So, new makes sense in that. Also, tennis shoes are sometimes so worn, that you'll have to buy new. With girls it's a whole different story.

When Ben was born, I hardly had to buy anything new. It was great! Plus, I got to relive Baby Gabe when Baby Ben wore his big brother's clothes. And boys, well boys are easy. Your choices for clothes are short sleeve or long sleeve, pants or shorts, tennis shoes or church shoes, along with the occasional dressy outfit.

When Lyndee was born, oh man was I in trouble. It was overwhelming. And that's an understatement. There are far too many choices when it comes to the wardrobe of a girl. You have pants, shorts, skirt, skort, capris, or dresses. Then short sleeve, long sleeve, tshirt, dressy shirt, cutesy shirt, sweater, sweatshirt, zip up, over the head, hood or no hood, on and on and on. That doesn't even begin to cover shoes - sandals, tennis shoes, church shoes in three colors, loafers, mary janes, crocs, boots, wow is all I can say.

So yes, hand me downs make sense. A week ago I talked to a teacher friend of mine who had a baby when her two other children were 9 and 12. Well, needless to say, even if the older daughter's clothes were still around (which they weren't) what was cute in the 90's was not so cute in the thousands if you know what I mean. So, new clothes it was. Thankfully, I am the HMD (hand me down) beneficiary of this! I was thrilled, more than thrilled when she stopped by last week with a huge bag of summer clothes and fall clothes for Lyndee. "Do you need shoes?" she said.

"Well, need is a relative term," I said, "but YES! We love shoes!" Later that night I sat on the couch and practically in tears I said, "Matt, do you see this, do you see all these great clothes?"

"What?" he said. "Yeah, clothes, sure, great," and went back to the NBA playoffs.

My spirits and gratitude not dampened at all by his seemingly inappropriate response, I called my mom and explained the situation. "Oh honey, that's great! I can't wait to see them. Won't our little girl look adorable?" Sigh, at last someone who understands my unadulterated joy at such a gift. I went to bed all smiles that night.

As the third of three girls, you might think that I would abhor hand me downs. After all, I was the recipient of many, many of these items. And not only third hand, but often 4th or 5th hand. My older cousin had scoliosis and wore a brace for many years, but her family bought her the coveted brand name shirts that ours could not afford. So when these shirts came our way, we wore them proudly, holes from the brace and all. I remember in particular one dress that my sisters both wore, it was green with some sort of red fruit all over it. Hideous, I know. I would sneak down to their closet and secretly drool over that dress. I couldn't wait till it was mine. Finally, they just said, "Amy, take it. We're not going to wear it anyway." I think I wore it the next day to school even though it was too big.

I often think that hand me downs can be symbolic for other things in our life too. I know that I am handing attitudes, values, and morals down to my kids every day. I appreciate most of these that my parents handed down to me, too. I just hope that someday, like the clothing, my kids can appreciate the things that aren't really things that I've tried to hand down to them as well. And relating to clothes, why would we want our kids to have to invent or think up brand new attitudes, values and morals when we can show them our "used" ones that hopefully can lead them down the right paths. We just have to be careful that we "hand me down" the good stuff in that area, and not the poorly used, trendy or ill advised stuff that sometimes sneaks in our baggage. With my lucky hand me down track record, I think we'll be okay.

Things I Know About Myself

As we grow older, I think we become a little bit more introspective and always are trying to "know" ourselves. Some of it is mumbo jumbo from the women's self help section at Barnes and Noble and some of it is probably true. Did you ever notice that the women's self help section is much larger than the men's? Men and introspective isn't something that usually go together. But, I digress. Here are some random things in my life that you may or may not know.

I drink too much diet coke.
I love junk food, and fast food, and sweets, and salty things and I think chocolate should be its own food group.
I wish I was better at playing with my kids.
I am so thankful that I have a daughter.
I am also thankful that I have two sons, but my daughter feels like she will always be a part of me, while I know my sons will belong to someone else.
I am really bad at remembering birthdays, even with my facebook birthday reminders and my card organizer with cards already addressed and stamped.
I yell at my children when I am frustrated.In fact, I've yelled more at my children in the last two years than I yelled at my students over 13 years of teaching.
I've spanked my two boys but never my daughter.
The Christmas or birthday presents I have to mail are always late.
I stay up too late but wish I could be a morning person. I know I would get so much more done.
I miss being a competitive athlete.
I think I'm good at the motivational, mental part of coaching basketball, but often feel lacking in the nuts and bolts of the game. I'd probably be better if I was willing to devote more time to it. But, family and self-preservation come first.
Most people would never know that I often feel insecure.
I love words of affirmation from anyone.
I worry about my house being not clean or organized enough to please others in my life.
I can't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.
The vacuum is my friend. So is the dishwasher.
I love to write, it makes me feel smart. I wish I was disciplined enough to do it every day.
I don't read as often as I should.
I hate conflict and can't stand negative energy around me.
I wish I was smarter about politics and world, heck, even local issues, but again, not motivated enough to become more informed.
I often wonder if I had cancer or was faced with something life threatening, would I be the fighter, or the one who throws in the towel.
I am not an activist for anything.
I don't like to cook and am not creative in that sense at all.
I think I am a good daughter, wife,and friend and often put others needs above my own.
I am a loyal and true friend.
I will tell you if I think you are wrong about something.
My kids will always know how very much I love them.
I am amazed at the individuality of my children and hope to foster confidence in them that I lack.
I am intuitive about other people's emotions and can often see both sides of difficulties in relationships.
I think that I am wise in some areas of my life, and horribly lacking in others.
I have learned more about myself in the last two years of my life, than all 36 years before put together.

So, self help book this is not, but I feel better! And now, even though it's 10:30, I think I'll crack a diet coke, eat some chocolate chip cookies, and watch some horrible reality show.

Baggage

Now, the title of this entry may be a bit misleading. Most of the time today when one talks about baggage, one means the emotional things we carry with us that might hinder our days, nights and decision making in general. Today, I mean real baggage. And by that I mean purses.

My collection, if you could call it that, was started in 1981 with a strawberry shaped coin purse. It has grown a bit in recent years but is still fairly tame. I think I own right now a black back pack purse (which I used in addition to a diaper bag as a new mom), an across the body brown messenger type bag (my cool new mom purse), a tiny hot pink number (my I'm going out with my husband alone purse), a lime green sassy one (trying to not look like a mom purse), a lime green all purpose tote (summer mom purse), a red sophisticated bag (my okay I admit I'm a mom, but a good lookin' one purse), a shiny black (we're going to a wedding) purse, my most recent purchase - a silver ladies night purse and my every day leopard print bag.

I can't really call the last one even a purse because I didn't even get it in the purse section. I think it was in the luggage section of TJ Maxx. It's not really THAT big, but big enough to hold all of the mom essentials. What are the mom essentials you ask? Well....let's check it out.

There is not one thing in my purse that does not serve a purpose. What may seem like non essential junk to someone else, could be life saving material for me.

My wallet: no real money, just some plastic, receipts, id cards, check book, change, and a couple of pictures.

A small green card holder: It is the gift card/store credit keeper. This is perhaps my favorite item in my purse because it holds shopping potential without economic consequences if you know what I mean. I have a gift certificate to the toy zone from 2004, not sure if they'd ever honor it but one of these days I might try. A free rootbeer float from A and W. Gift cards in various denominations for Great Harvest, Java Detour (and I'm not a coffee drinker), Younkers/Herbergers, Old Navy, Victoria Secret, and GGP (whatever that is). I have store credit at TJ Maxx, Sam's Club and Children's Place and a $10 reward for Gap.

A second small green card holder: This is my "club cards" and coupon store house. Everyone who knows me knows I love a bargain more than anything so sign me up, I'll be in your club even if it only saves me a buck a year. I have member cards from the theatre, Hardware Hank, Build a Bear, Dunn Bros. Coffee (again not a coffee drinker) just to name a few.

My camera: this is essential because you never know when your children might have an historic moment. It could be the first potty and you might be at Target. I'm telling you, you never know when moments like that will occur.

My leopard print diaper/wipes holder: I'm not sure that this really needs an explanation. My mom made this for me and it was very freeing! It meant that I didn't have to carry a diaper bag anymore! I could just transer this from purse to purse. Let it be said that hopefully the diaper part of it will be retired soon and it will just be the wipes holder. Wipes are an entity in an of themselves when you are a mom. I think I'll still carry them when my kids are in college. Like I said, you never know!

My phone: This really doesn't need an explanation either. I do know that some of my family and friends get annoyed when they can't get a hold of me. I have my phone, but often it might be on silent or vibrate and I just don't hear it, honest.

Ibuprofen: Almost my number one mom essential. Many things give me head aches, not the least of which is the volume my children create when stuffed in the minivan together running errands that they don't want to run. Running errands is one of my favorite things, really, so I'm trying to pass that love on to my kids. A little twisted...I know.

My coupon folder: I am up for a deal at any time, so I always shop with coupons. If I see and and I know I have a coupon at home, I refuse to buy it and I will come back later. I mean, come on....it's free money!!!!

Many miscellaneous items float around in my purse. These include but are not limited to: a baggie of crayons, match box cars, an iron man or hello kitty notebook, dum dum suckers, smarties, bandaids, stickers, many rubber insects, hand sanitizer, chap stick, lip gloss, pony tail holders, bobby pins, and a few unmentionables.

I used to wonder why my mom had to carry such a large purse while I ran around with one as big as my 8 year old hand that held my strawberry shaped coin purse. Now, I get it....the mom essentials ruled even in 1981.