I am 15 hours into a 17 hour road trip. Don’t feel too sorry for me, because it’s also Day 3, so it’s not like we’ve gone straight through. We have been through Minnesota, all of North Dakota, and are two thirds of the way through Montana. As I said before, 15 hours in. And I don’t hate it. Not at all. If I am to be honest with myself, as I most always try to be, I actually am enjoying it.
It may be shocking to some, because in my normal life, I am not very good at sitting around. I don’t deal well with idle time. I create things for myself to do because I get ancy. It feels unproductive if I am doing nothing. And, most of the time, I am all about being productive. Even when I am watching tv, I am correcting papers, reading the newspaper, clipping coupons, online shopping, painting my nails, you get the idea.
Fifteen hours in, and I am not itching to do something. I am relaxing. It is a foreign concept during the school year. During the school year, there is always something to do. It goes without saying that I don’t always do the things that need to be done. Sometimes, I just think about everything I have to do and correct and grade according to a rubric. I think about it, and it weighs on me, but instead of doing it, I do laundry or feed my family, or watch tv while clipping coupons. It is definitely procrastination disguised as productivity.
For the past thirteen weeks, since the beginning of track and field season, downtime has been non-existent. I want to be clear that I am not complaining about that. I chose it, and continue to choose it, every season that my coaching contract needs to be signed. Why I coach will be detailed in a later post. This post isn’t long enough to for those explanations now.
Sitting in the passenger seat over the past few days has been really lovely. Of course there are the questions like, “My movie’s over, now what do I do?” “I’m hungry,” (30 minutes after my offsrping didn’t want anything at Arby’s). “I have to go to the bathroom,” (15 minutes after the last bathroom stop). The sibling arguments are frequent, but not serious. The irrittion my husband feels is greater than mine. We are not on a deadline after all. We don’t have any buses to catch, meets to be at, people to email, posts or updates to the website to do, students to teach, lineups to make and enter, staff meetings to attend, appointments to make or go to, nothing is on the agenda.
We are on vacation. And if you are inclined to say, “She deserves it, she works so hard during the school year,” please don’t. Every single person I see, work with, meet, and know or don’t know deserves vacation. I am so grateful that we have the time and the ability to be able to take our kids on road trips. So deserving really has little to do with it. Choosing to vacation is more what I feel lucky to have the resources to do.
Most of the time when we go on a trip, I have everything planned out. That means that things are packed days in advance, the kids all have matching outfits labeled in gallon sized freezer bags, and when I walk out the door of my house, it is clean - very clean. This time, I packed the morning we left, some of the clothes I packed were dirty, we won’t be matching, I forgot some things, and when I walked out of the house, it was pretty much a disaster. Especially the kids’ rooms. Di.Sas.Ters. Truly.
But you know what? We are still on vacation. And that dirt and those disasters will be waiting for us when we return. No. Big. Deal.
This ride has not been a total lack of productivity, and I suppose that is why I have been okay with it and sitting still has not been anxiety producing. I have written more than a dozen graduation cards, a couple of Father’s Day cards, read two books, and uploaded hundreds of pics into my online albums.
I didn’t say I was perfect, but I am learning. Relaxation is hard for those of us who consistently choose busy, but I am learning. And it is lovely.
