I admit...my love language is not gifts. I really could care less what a gift is, what it says about me, what it says about the giver, whatever! If you give something to me, I love it. It's perfect. It was just what I wanted, because it is from YOU! And you thought enough to give me something. Even if it was the wrong thing, it was something. Maybe it comes from years of pretending as a teacher. YES! I love the dollar store oranament, mug, bookmark, etc. you picked out for me. A used candle? Perfect! Just what I wanted, and purple, how did you know??
My husband's love language, I think is gifts. That and another one, which is a whole separate blog post. So, we tend to give love in the way we wish to receive love. I give him "acts of service." Do not let yourself get carried away here. Acts of service to me are emptying the dishwasher, making his meals, packing his lunch, making sure his drawers always have clothes in them (yuck, when did I become so traditional, barf). I also hang up his coat, pick up his clothes, do the taxes, yada yada yada. I do these things not because he can't, but because I can. Whenever I get irritated with doing these things for him, I remind myself...I am so glad that I, I, I, am the one doing these things for him and not someone else. I get to take care of him. Me. No one else. Me.
My husband, because he loves gifts, loves to give gifts. I disappoint him sometimes because, like I said before, gifts don't really matter much to me. He was raised a traditional gift giver. On our anniversaries, he follows what Hallmark tells him to do. I have two all-time favorite gifts from him. One was on on our 7th anniversary. The traditional gift was wool and copper. On the 29th of December, I received a ring box. Not a jewelry person, I inwardly cringed. I adjusted my eyes to read "eager anticipation" when really I was thinking, "How much did this cost?" I opened the box and found steel wool and a penny. I cried. I was so happy! Strange, right? I loved it. It was quirky and weird and meaningful all at the same time. It was probably because he had already considered my reaction and adjusted his gift to my weirdness and quirkiness! I still have it! It sits on my dresser and I truly love it.
On our 11th anniversary, I was hugely pregnant with number 3. We always wanted three. We just hadn't anticipated three in three and a half years, especially considering our difficult road to number 1! So, on the 29th of December, at 38 large weeks pregnant, he gave me a key chain. The traditional gift is steel. The modern one is fashion jewelry. So, he kind of combined the two for this year. The key chain was shaped like an envelope with a heart clasp. When the clasp opened, a letter came out of the envelope. On the envelope was Love, Matt, Gabe, Ben, and _________ . Yep, a big blank. My thoughtful, wonderful husband said, "We'll get it finished when Baby is born. And sure enough, three days after Lyndee Elizabeth was born, we headed to Things Remembered in the mall and had her name engraved on it as well.
I also loved my 13th anniversary gift. It was lace. Again, remember who is writing here and don't get carried away. It was a lace Christmas ornament in the shape of a heart. Every year, we hang it on our tree and the tag is still attached. It says, "To My One and Only." I love it, truly, I do.
But, the best birthday I ever had was during the first year we were married. It was my 25th birthday. I worked at a Day Treatment then for kids who were challenged in lots of ways. It was stressful, beautiful work. So, on my birthday, I came home to our apartment on 41st street to a note on a large stuffed frog in my entryway. The note said, "Play the answering machine." So, I did, all the while thinking how romantic my husband was and that I have not a romantic bone in my body. The answering machine told me to go into the bedroom and get dressed. So, I headed in our room and he had picked out an outfit for me. It was a lovely outfit that I felt beautiful in. The message told me not to take too long, because I had to be at Carousel Floral by 5:00.
I walked into the floral shop and they practically screamed, "Ohhhhhh, you must be Amy! Your husband is so (sweet, handsome, nice, cute, on and on and on). I got some roses and another note.
The note had some sort of poem or something on it that told me to go to Dayton's (at the time) and look for the heart balloon. I did, and found said balloon, and again the clerks just gushed over my husband. He had gotten me some perfume and left another note.
This note told me to go to Baker's Square and retrieve my favorite pie. So I walked in and said I was Amy and I think my husband left me a French Silk Pie? More ooooohing and ahhhhhing and then I got my pie......and another note. This one told me to go "where everybody knows your name....." it's a "Cheers" reference people, if you're not old enough, look it up. I knew he meant "Brother's Bar and Grill" where our co-ed softball team always went.
I was greeted at Brother's door by my friends Jeff and Linnea. Jeff said they were supposed to buy me a beer. I was looking around for Matt. He said, "Matt? What? He's not here." Huh? So, I waited just a little longer and Jeff said, "Okay, now it's time for you to go and meet your groom." He told me to go to Wong's Cafe on historic 3rd street. I walked in, and there was my groom, waiting with a bottle of champagne.
I mean, really, what guy does this? You know who? My guy.
A lot has changed since my 25th birthday. We live in a different house, in a different city, with different jobs. Three kids and eighteen years later, my husband still surprises me with gifts.
Now, it's Valentine's Day. He didn't leave a card for me today, but he did for my eight year old daughter. That to me, is the most wonderful gift he could give.
