On Becoming a Grown Up

When I turned 18, I thought, "Yes! I am finally a grown up!" I went to college, got a job, went to graduate school, got married and then I started to wonder.

"When will I feel like a grown up?"

I was doing all the things grown ups do...like paying a mortgage, paying various other bills, joining my church, heading up committees at work, coaching a variety of sports teams and finally, having children of my own.

There, that should make me feel like a grown up, right?

It's not like I am a childish person. I'm not. I'm not even silly. I don't run around and jump around. I don't even like to play games with my kids.

I'm really bad at pretend, especially with action figures and Barbies.(Hi, I'm Ken/Superman/Barbie/Green Lantern. Who are you? Are you a good guy or a bad guy? What are you doing? Okay, well, I'm going to go take a nap.) See? I told you I'm bad.

I get bored easily. I don't watch a lot of tv. I'm not particularly crafty or have any hobbies. I am, in fact, pretty boring.

Even when my kids were small and I was parenting 24/7, I still didn't feel like a grown up.

I am just starting to feel more like a grown up now. The transformation is not yet complete, but I think I may have figured out some of the contributing factors.

1. I went back to work.
There is something about putting on professional clothes and teaching history that makes me feel more grown up. Especially since the history I am teaching has to do with Minnesota and the era in which I grew up. See, my childhood life is history!


2. I am now older or the same age as most of my students' parents.
When I first started teaching, I was the new teacher in the school, one of the youngest ones. I didn't have children, so how could I be an authority on your child when I didn't know what it was like to have little ones of my own? Plus, for some of the parents I worked with, they were not much younger than my own parents. A few had children my age.


3. I went through the house buying process a second time.
The first time we bought our house, we really had no idea what we were doing. We survived it, built equity, and then moved on to bigger and better. The second time we bought a house, we knew more - about the process, about our own financial state, about each other. Plus, much to the chagrin of our realtor, HGTV's House Hunters and Property Virgins helped.


4. I have school agers of my own.
This might be the biggest determining factor in feeling like a grown up. I provide birthday treats. Do homework. I get to read chapter books to my boys, good chapter books like Harry Potter. I go to parent/teacher conferences as the parent.

Next year my daughter will be in school. Then, perhaps my transformation to adult will be complete. I mean, I am 40 after all. When my parents turned 40, they were OLD! Am I a grown up? Perhaps, but definitely not OLD!