Every three weeks

Every three weeks or so I freak out. Literally. About everything. My husband can attest to this, my kids run the opposite direction, my best friend listens patiently. They weather the storm and hopefully we are all calmer on the other side. Most of the time I can coast along, very easy going and not let too much bother me and then BAM, it happens.

Here's how it goes.
Matt?
What. (He sits calmly reading the paper.)
I can't stand this anymore.
What. (Good thing I can't see his "here we go again" eye roll at the kids.)
The toys!
What. (Kids leave the room.)
The clothes.
What. (He turns on the tv.)
The dogs.
What. (He pets dog absentmindedly as he turns on ESPN.)
The carpet.
What. (He sighs as he checks out the score.)
The money.
What. (He makes mental note to tell me about what he spent at Buffalo Wild Wings.)
ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?
What?! I said, What? (We go to McDonald's for dinner.)

The toys. We have too many toys. I love toys, the kids love toys, Matt loves toys. But I, well, I love them and hate them. I love the idea behind toys. I hate the clutter they represent. And I swear, toys breed during the night. They get put away at bedtime and are clean when we get up, when all of a sudden by 8:05, toys have exploded in the living room. I swear I could pick up all day long and they would still be everywhere. I'm pretty sure that toys have secret lives and when my back is turned, they scuttle out of the bins where they've just been placed back to the corner of the bathroom, my bed, under the crib, or on the dining room table where I just found them 5 minutes ago and put them away.

And McDonald's. God Bless McDonald's for those nights when I absolutely detest cooking, but I swear the Devil invented Happy Meal toys. I could go the rest of my life without ever looking at another Made in China car, transformer, neopet, movie character, etc. They multiply too. I used to pick up a few of those toys in the free pile at garage sales. Now I loathe them and try to dump them off in my free pile!

And who doesn't love baby toys? But what baby needs 27 BIG walk around, crawl around, pull themselves up, musical, letter chanting, cheerio/juice magnet toys? Okay, so 27 is an exaggeration, but even the 4 we have drive me nuts. And yeah, they're fantastic. When they're the ONLY toy you have for your ONLY child! But add two more kids and 4,000 other toys and it is enough to drive you over the edge. Can you tell I'm at the the three week freak out stage? And I already had my garage sale for the summer!

There are nights, those late up till 2am nights I occasionally have, where I actually get pleasure sorting out all of the toys. I get the bins from the basement, the boxes from the boys' room, the baskets and tubs from behind the couch, and the toy tub from the van and have at it. I sort animals, superheroes, balls, tub toys, guys, Little People (not real little people, you know the fisher price plastic ones that replaced the lead paint choking hazards I grew up with) and yes, Happy Meal toys. And the little people get sorted into Noah's Ark, the Farm, the Bus, the School. Yep, we've got it all. And there is always a Goodwill pile (those poor people, they must want to lock the door when they see me coming!) and a throw away pile. And I have to do all this in the wee hours of the morning because my kids would earnestly argue that they WOULD play with all of these and they WOULD put them away each night. And not only my kids, but my husband, too.

I laugh at those organizing articles in parenting magazines or on HGTV or TLC. The kids in those shows have maybe 10 toys and a room that's equal to the square footage of my whole main floor. And it's not a bedroom or a living room, it's an actual PLAY ROOM! I drool over the Pottery Barn catalog with the rooms and the organization that they have. If I had that much space, wow, could I be organized! Or maybe I'd just have more room for more toys. Then I'd REALLY freak out. But maybe it'd only be about every 5 weeks instead of every three!

And guess what, it was just birthday central at our house. You can't NOT give kids toys for a 3 year old and 5 year old birthday! And they loved it! And I want my kids to have toys. Just not in my living room, and dining room, and bathroom, and bedroom......

As much as I'd love to talk more about the clothes, the dogs, the carpet and the money, I have some bins, boxes, tubs and baskets waiting to be sorted. Don't worry. It'll be better in the morning. Until 8:05.